Birthday Clinical Trial: 35
An Unlicensed Study on Instability, Desire, and Survival
Side effects are expected
Consent is implied by presence
Treatment is optional. Observation is not.
Stability not guaranteed
Side effects are expected
Consent is implied by presence
Treatment is optional. Observation is not.
Stability not guaranteed
History
We spent four hours blindfolded, tasting dishes, sharing stories, and choreographing dances.
2015 In the dark
We danced, stayed silent, played games, sang, shouted, whispered, and moved in perfect sync.
2017 In silence and rhythm
Under the guidance of sous-chefs, we crafted cocktails, desserts, soups, main courses, and even stitched up a pike.
2016 In the kitchen
We painted the future and the past, debated meanings, told stories, and staged performances.
2018 Sensual
We directed plays, rehearsed, improvised, and orchestrated sound and light.
2019 With meanings
We watched a short film about me, and some of us spent a little time at home.
2021 Without anything (quarantine)
We trained neural networks, created art objects, and composed music and texts with the help of robots.
2020 Generative
We explored sex quizzes, filmed webcam performances, and embraced our kinks.
2022 SEX
We sought confidence in Inner Mongolia and staged museum takeovers.
2023 Immigration
2024 Business
In a D&D-style adventure, we built an international startup while simultaneously saving Earth from reptiloids.
2025 Death
We talked about life and death, tried to foresee the future, mourned, and threw a feast in the midst of the plague. Photos
Many have already guessed (since I've mentioned it more than once) that the theme of my birthdays is always connected to a stage in my life. All my life, I considered mental stability my superpower.
I could feel other people’s emotions, resonate with them, even experience them deeply — while still keeping control. I knew how to hold the line, regulate, manage, stay functional.
This year disrupted that certainty and gifted me a new set of experiences. For the first time in my life, I clearly felt that an enemy, a rival, a problem doesn’t always exist somewhere outside.
I could feel other people’s emotions, resonate with them, even experience them deeply — while still keeping control. I knew how to hold the line, regulate, manage, stay functional.
This year disrupted that certainty and gifted me a new set of experiences. For the first time in my life, I clearly felt that an enemy, a rival, a problem doesn’t always exist somewhere outside.
What lies ahead?
We’re entering Clinical Trial: 35 — a cooperative birthday disguised as an unofficial study. Each of you becomes both participant and material, free to bring something of your own into the experiment.
Let the aesthetics be clinical, unstable, excessive, restrained, or undone.
Will it be painful? At times.
Will it be hot? Absolutely.
Will we look our own and each other’s demons in the eye? We won’t just look, but more.
Let the aesthetics be clinical, unstable, excessive, restrained, or undone.
Will it be painful? At times.
Will it be hot? Absolutely.
Will we look our own and each other’s demons in the eye? We won’t just look, but more.
How and where will it take place?
17:00 – Admission
Arrival, registration, initial observation.
18:00 – Baseline Assessment
Find your state, choose your coping tools
19:00 – Diagnostic Ritual
Naming symptoms, assigning labels.
20:00 – Unlicensed Interventions
Participant-led actions, micro-performances, confessions, experiments.
22:00 – Dissociation Protocol
Rhythm-induced detachment from body and narrative.
00:00 – Side Effects Window
Timing 21.02 (Saturday)
Amsterdam, TBD
Take your inner demons out for a walk, along with your mental peculiarities. We’re creating a cozy, closed (and warm!) mental institution built on total acceptance.
Place
Format and dress-code
Unfortunately, I can't assist much with tickets or visas. However, I suggest combining this trip with a vacation in an amazing city. Once we know the group, we'll sort out the accommodation.
Transportation and accommodation for those coming from outside Amsterdam
The event starts on February 21 at 17:00. Arriving later is perfectly fine. The most interesting part is between 18 and 22.
Time
Basic things about
I try to disguise my birthday and give it significance through unconventional framing. Help me with this - enjoy the game.
1
This year, there will be less people who knows me for years. Many English-speakers. I do like you if you are invited.
2
When I moved, I was genuinely happy I didn’t own a lot of stuff. I plan to keep it that way. The best gift is you here with me, but there’s also a wish list below.
3
Wishlist
I try to limit my physical possessions to 99 items. So far, I’m not doing great, but I’m working on it. If you think of something cool - whether related to the theme or not - feel free to bring it on. Another important note. I will be in Luxembourg from February 23 to end of May (only will come back once or twice). So with event tickets it could be tricky.
I have two businesses now. One about death and another one about AI. While we are waiting for investment, you could be the first one to support my projects. Just money, you are right:) Or visit our linkedin page and subscribe, it works too.
Basically everything you think I would like. Even strange toilet seat:)
All kinds of trinkets. I know it's hard, but you can really influence my look. To help, list of things I saved.
FAQ
Register using any of the forms on this website. There will be a group chat. Figure out how to transport yourself to Amsterdam.
I’ve never seen “You can just come, no gift required” actually work. But honestly, your presence is already a big enough gift. Truly.
A couple of weeks before the event, you’ll receive the exact address. After that, all you need to do is show up. I’ll set up the group chat earlier.
Yes, even a +2, but please let me know in advance.
